“It’s Godney, bitch!”
by Emília Fort
A couple of weeks ago I was able, finally, to solve the mystery that has been chasing me since my teenage years thanks to this morph I saw somewhere. I guess this might sound as a chapter of no importance in the life of a person, but I’ve got to say that the poster -I definitely think it was a poster, my grandma had a Jesus Christ poster!- was probably the only religious imagery at hand in my daily life, so the discovery was somewhat of a revelation.
The most curious thing is that I realised that this image-mystery, rooted in my subconscious, has been chasing me since then in my day-to-day life, overcoming the passing of time. I realised, for instance, that in my house we have some plates, bought in Los Angeles some years ago (see photo), that for some unspoken law are only and exclusively used to eat pizza.
Well, if I was already worried for having discovered that Jesus Christ reminded me of Britney Spears (in that order), I don’t need to mention how surprised I was upon realising that I always eat pizza on a plate decorated with an image of what for me was already Jesus Christ Spears.
Then I started thinking that I might have done something wrong, that it was all down to my atheist family and my secular education: since I never attended catechism class, I’d ended up being someone with no fundamentals. But there I was, in pure catholic style, feeling guilty. So, in any case and once more, my ignorance made me do some research.
I googled “Britney Spears Jesus Christ”, like that, not knowing what I was after but with the hope of not being alone in the world, and the first entry I got was this piece of news published by the Times on November 4th, 2013: “Britney Spears Musical Tells Story of Jesus Christ”. Maybe everybody knew about this already but me, but my perplexity was increasing by the second. SPEARS: The Gospel According to Britney was a one-night-only Broadway show that told the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ through Brit’s songs. Stronger, One More Time, Crazy, Oops… I did it again.
At last, it all made sense to me. That similitude I couldn’t identify years ago didn’t mean I was nuts. It’s confirmed. Britney has always been there and her close and now official relationship with Jesus Christ has even been taken to the stage. It’s Godney, bitch! All this might, and probably should, end up as something merely anecdotic and superficial, but, hey, what a relief knowing that the system works. Now I’ll finally be able to eat pizza on my plates without feeling weird about it.
Here, a quick comparisons exercise to prove that the resemblance is undeniable.
Plastic plate bought in a 99 Cents Only Store in Studio City, L.A.