7 days,

The trap.

– Take me home…– I can’t, it is not mine.– But it is not far away.
– It is not a question of distance, I assure you.
– I know. I am just trying to have fun.– It would be fun if I laughed.
– Should you?
– I do not know, should I try?
– Yes!

And I laughed. As loud as I could so that my stomach would bubble, I was still a bit tipsy despite the cold and my stomach felt like a bubbling basin of champagne. I bubbled some more.

– Why are you crying?
– Is it not appropriate?
– I have a thing with questions being answered by questions.
– Materialist…
– I am fond of what you have.– Does that need to be mutual?– It is preferred by people.
– Can we not be serious?
– I asked you a question.

– If the sun stopped shining and the rain stopped falling, if the sea sunk and the clouds fell down, if the bird went by foot and the foot had wings, if an eye could hear and the ear could speak…– … If sirens could whistle and mermaids could dance, if death could die and light be dark the water could be dry and you would still not answer my question.– I see.– Where should I look?– I have sunk inside of you, I try to swim but your water is thick, I cry to make it thinner so that I can move around with ease.– You are tickling me.
– Don’t be afraid.
– How did you know?
– You didn’t blink.
– If I did I would loose sight of you.
– I shall hang you from a tree.
– And if the wind takes me?
– My word, the wind is strong but have you felt the weight of my wings? I can hardly stand but as an eagle waiting for a carcass by the road I shall be patient and you shall be mine.
– You’re making me hungry but the cold is covering your smell.
– If I made a fire you would melt.
– Don’t be so sure, my Aries walks hand in hand with the rising sign of Leo.

I take out a piece of paper and unfold it – my astrological chart – to explain who I am.

– I have never seen anyone like this. On this earth you surely are unique, but have you seen my wings?
– Your feathers make me sneeze.
– Do not feel threatened.
– Then why should you hang me from a tree?
– You have no roots but you are not a nomad.
– I am drifting; bring me in.

Warm arms around my waist, a damp breath on my neck, bring me further in, I thought, tighten your grip, do not let me go, make me grow!

– Heaven, we shall rise.
– I might faint.
– We shall overcome.
– Why so biblical?– Do not close your eyes. Play with my fingers.
– We are standing still.
– Keep them open.
– I am not sure I see what you see.
– Of that we will never be sure.– I am done playing.
– Then let go.– Shall I walk alone?– Never.

– I have never had a companion.
– Then make me a leash.
– It would be obscene.
– When we get down I will close my eyes.
– So I can run away?
– Your feet will not carry you; have some faith.
– Here in the sky nothing can ground me, I can whisper but my voice will echo, you can test me, go ahead, you think you know me.
– If only I had known – I would have come sooner, believe me, forgive me.
– There is nothing I can do.
– What will you do when my eyes are shut?
– There is nothing you do not already know, you are looking for affirmation, let yourself go, say goodbye.– It took me a long time to become.
– You are afraid.
– And you are not?!!
– Now close your eyes.

Eyes shut, I walked in circles, I observed from afar, I came close, I sat down on the border of the fountain, I felt complete, I watched the moon, the lights.

– I am reborn.
– Let me know.
– I told you, you already do.
– I think the vampires will feast on our boiling blood tonight.
– We could be eternal.
– Can we slow down?

– Take your time.– Hold your breath!
– Why this struggle, shall we start again?
– I am afraid.
– I told you, but so am I. Hold on, I will spread my wings, they are heavy – one day you’ll have to learn how to do it too. I will be old, my strength will be weak.
– I thought we’d be eternal, you are scaring me.
– If we are prepared we can do this, you know we can. I said goodbye to myself as I closed my eyes. Now you have to teach me everything anew.
– I cannot give you all I have, what will be left of me?
– You’re still standing alone, you mean, on your own two feet?

I felt ashamed. A cloud came in over the moon and covered us in darkness.

– Please hang me.
– You will have to want this, in the end if I walk alone, I shall never forgive you.
– Hey hangman, don’t be so dramatic. If I have to I will crawl by your feet and brush your teeth, you know that, accept my apologies for your heart is here in my hands and if you do not obey your veins will burst out of thirst…
– …and from my crying eyes I shall drown.
– So much drama.

We smiled.

– See that man, free to talk, free to walk, his desires accountable only to his hat and when he takes that off, only god can make him cry.
– If time were endless I wouldn’t want to wear a hat.
– Times is endless.
– I shall never wear a hat.
– Let us forget about the man but remember about the hat.– I no longer exist.
– We need a home.
– Is that not how it all started?
– That is how it all starts, but we are far from the beginning, if we go back…
– …we cannot go back.

– Your water is smooth now, I can move with ease.
– I am no longer afraid of the waves you’re making inside of me.
– Soon you will learn how to operate my wings.
– I feel I already do.