Fuck everything in 20 steps – O Production Company

A bad day is not a bad day until… 1) you burn all the bridges. 2) You break the deck. 3) You stand up all of a sudden, who the hell do you think you are, from the negotiation table where it’s all black or white. 4) You leave the room with a slam of the door and without looking back, action hero style. 5) You argue with yourself mumbling about bicycles sent to be sodomised. 6) Answer with bad manners to a collateral victim whose only error, impossible to guess, was untimeliness. 7) You verbally abuse even more a second ill-timed innocent who didn’t notice the hairs on your back were up on end. 8) You realise that you are making people pay for stuff they’re not guilty of with a vengeance, but hey, that’s life. 8) Getting on your nerves? Taking things out of proportion? Hitting the roof? I don’t know what you’re talking about… 9) Be patient? Relax? Count up to ten? No, don’t tell me to calm down now. 10) Why don’t you calm down yourself! 11) I’m, I’m, I’m really calm, look how quiet I am, look. 12) It’s never too late for wrath. 13) Or to become fury. 14) Or to crack. 15) But the rest of them, although a red light has been warning you for quite some time now, are not to blame, of course. 16) Although one just doesn’t turn into Fernán Gómez, Labordeta, or the creature of the Black Lagoon out of the blue. 17) Too much molecular order around you drives you mad, oh, harbinger of entropy, oh, sudden Tasmanian devil, oh, harsh remark waiting to happen! 18) The temptation to give yourself away to barbarism gets higher and higher. 19) In fact, they’re only objects irritatingly well placed, balanced, in peace… and lifeless. 20) Then, only then, you… post on social networks one of these GIFs: Fuck this, fuck that, fuck everything! In their kaiju-eiga, spoiled kitten, Disney, High school or library versions. There’s plenty of choice.

By Joan Pons

Fuck
every-
thing
In 20
STEPs

Fuck
every-
thing
In 20
STEPs

Fuck
every-
thing
In 20
STEPs